Vibe Camp Reflections

VC-5

I just came home from VC5, and once again it EASILY proved to be worth the price. I went last year as well, with friends, and this year I was more on my own / independent - choosing my events irrespective of what any of my friends were doing. By the end, I looked over the schedule and the chats and was feeling quite regretful and jealous of many of the amazing events I wasn’t able to attend, but also feeling like I went to too many events and wished I had scheduled some more unstructured time for myself. Contradictory, eh?

As far as actual events I attended, I prioritized intro dancing events, learning how to Rumba, East Coast Swing, Belly Dance, and then I went to the dance-social where people did the structured dances (rumba, foxtrot, and swing - I hadn’t attended the fox trot workshop but I was able to pick it up relatively fast). Something similar happened last year, where I went to a lot of the partner dance workshops. I really enjoy partner dance! I love dancing in general, and I love when it’s a bit more structured and I feel like I don’t need creativity or improvisational skills. I don’t regret this choice, but I think next year I’ll probably de-emphasize the dance events in order to increase my emphasis on singing events and other more niche events.

I also attended a basic class on aerial silks - or, class is too strong a word - where I marveled at how beautiful and free people were, twisting and spinning and climbing. I love climbing trees, and I love being the center of attention, and I have a pretty extensive ballet background, so this was an obvious draw for me. When it was my turn to try for the very first time, this was the move that I was given instructions for and it ignited a fire in me.

Now that VC is over, I’m excitedly searching for aerial lessons in my area.

Last year at VC4, my first, I was too nervous about my place in the community, unsure about how VC was structured, and not feeling very creative or confident so I didn’t host any events. This year, I felt more sure so I decided to host a hair braiding event. I chose hair braiding for a few reasons - I love braiding other people’s hair, it feels so intimate and immediately causes a connection. I feel not just a connection with the person whose hair I’m braiding, but with my matrilineal ancestors, who did the same motions with their same fingers as I’m doing now, chatting and bonding and grooming with their friends the same way women have been doing since time immemorial. Hair braiding tends (not exclusively) to attract women, and as most of my interests lean more masculine I’ve been trying to make more of a conscious effort to add female-centered time into my life. And lastly, my skills at hair braiding just aren’t that fantastic right now, and at some point I’d like them to be good enough to staff something like the hair braiding stand at a renaissance faire or Dickens’ festival.

For similar reasoning, I attended the henna event and got henna applied to me and applied henna to a new friend of mine.

Counterintuitively for an event that’s, if i remember correctly, ~75% men, VC helped me feel far more in touch with my femininity than I typically do. Strengthening my bonds with women feels like a sisterhood, something that’s good and important above and beyond general bonds of friendship and community. I’ve also been brainstorming other ways of fleshing this out more, like reading the biographies of important women in history.

The other event I hosted this year was a larp (live action role playing game) called “Perfection” about a cult (ok fine, “New Religious Movement” with a “Charismatic Leader”). In this larp, I played the leader and messiah figure named Meade, and the other 8 players played Meade’s inner circle and council, making decisions for the compound and followers, which is in far greater distress than Meade realizes. Meade was separated into an inner sanctum, was able to call people in and talk with them at their leisure, and sowed much discontent by being unreasonable, cruel, distracted, pitting members against each other, stupid, and lying. This part was great fun. I alienated my head of security and head of operations, and then at the end of the game they turned on me and used force to lock me in my sanctum “for my own good”. The players had a great time, and I’ll probably run another larp next year. I have digital copies of approx 200-250 table top rpgs, so picking just one will be hard, but I think that I’d like that to be my ‘thing’ that people know me from.

Other events that I attended, if only briefly, at VC5 included a mens’ fashion workshop, a scent-based-matchmaking event where I and some other people (aimed at women, but men participated as well) smelled lots of sweaty shirts and rated how much we liked their smells, an all-billy-joel sing a long event, general karaoke, a display of colors that were especially vibrant (aka unable to be displayed on a digital screen accurately), a petting zoo, lots of time in and around the pool, ‘sex magic for beginners’, good friends Wes, Gina, and Gubes’ summer solstice event, meteor shower watching, and a poetry reading. The best of those was the summer solstice event, which made me tear up more than once. It stands as a stark contrast to the rationalist winter solstice event, and is full of optimism, joy, friendship, community, and love.

There were quite a few people I met for the first time at VC5 and talked with. Basically every person was extremely interesting - I felt my inner extravert reignited. I wanted to learn everything about everyone. There were quite a few friendly faces from previous events who recognized me, were happy to see me or strike up a conversation, and made me feel honored and welcomed and like I belonged.

Not sure how much it’s wise to disclose publicly, but on Saturday evening I decided I wanted to be in a different headspace and was able to fill this desire surprisingly easily. I quickly got overwhelmed and retreated to the teahouse which, I’m not sure if you know this, is literally the best place on earth. It’s cozy, covered in mattresses, blankets, pillows, cushions, tapestries, flowers, pretty lights, and comforting people who bring reassuring words and delicious tea. While overwhelmed in the tea house, I spent some time with the person who was my VC4 hookup and I now consider a good friend. I really cherish the norm in my community to flow between sexual and friendship connections with people easily. Many of my friends are former (or future!) lovers, and everyone’s ability to not be weird and awkward about this is hugely appreciated.

After perhaps 1.5-2 hours (who knows?) I was feeling more put together and, after playing with some bubbles full of fire together by the pool, my friend left to go dance at the pavilion, an event called DanceWhole. At this point, in the tea house I got to have deep conversations with several people who had previously been strangers, including the cute boy who organized the smell-based-matchmaking event, who was in a similar headspace to me. We cuddled, fairly quickly converged on the fact that we would be hooking up that night, but then spent hours and hours talking both which each other and with the constantly shifting group before that point. I believe on Saturday night I didn’t get to sleep until like, 3:30am. Twice is a pattern - vibe camp hookups continue being top notch.

I feel like Vibe Camp is one of the places that I have to worry about social repercussions, shyness, caginess, and plausible deniability the least out of everywhere in the world. It’s an extremely free environment and one can just profess whatever’s in ones heart. That’s part of what makes it special.

One sad note - unlike last year, this year I have a partner that I was really hoping to be able to bring with me and show the magic of Vibe Camp. He was unable to come with me because of an extended work event. To make matters worse, on the Friday of Vibe Camp, it was his actual birthday! I tried to text and stay in touch but of course it wasn’t the same. His absence, to me, was deeply felt and colored many of my choices. behind every event I went to or meal I shared primarily with strangers, was a twinge of loneliness because my favorite person wasn’t there sharing it with me. I hope you can come next year <3

In conclusion, I’m extremely glad I went to VC. I practiced my independence, my extraversion, and got to fully be my weird self. I regret nothing and had an amazing time, but next year will probably try to go to fewer dance events and spend more time lounging in the teahouse talking to new friends and attending the weirder events, that I wouldn’t be able to do anywhere else throughout the year. I will continue to put on my hair braiding workshop and another larp, and continue to provide whatever I can to be helpful to those going through hard moments. I’ll do my best not to fall asleep so early on any of the nights as I did on friday this year. If any of this resonated with you, I strongly encourage you to join next year - we’ll be happy to have you.

A handful of photos:

My tent had a frog on it!